What is it like to be a bisexual man living in India?
A 36-year-old bisexual man living with his family in Delhi says âunconventional doesnât even begin to define my life.â
In an article , the anonymous man writes about what itâs like being bisexual in a country where gay sex was still punishable with life in prison just last year when t he countryâs Supreme Court passed a landmark judgement decriminalizing Section 377.
The man first realized he was attracted to both women and men in 2003, when he was still in college, and it freaked him out at first.
âI had to suddenly face the reality that I wasnât ânormalâ anymore,â he writes. âAdd to that, I wasnât even just gay. Being bisexual meant that I was a minority within a minority. How would I deal with that? “
His girlfriend at the time dumped him the minute he came out to her. And his friends responded with âunfunny remarksâ about bisexuals.
âYou can enjoy the best of both worlds, was the common one. You can hook up with as many men as you want and then get married to a girl, some suggested. There was a fair bit of âitâs a phaseâ as well. Basically, no one understood my true self. Most still donât, even after close to two decades.â
The man says he continues to struggle with feeling lonely and misunderstood. Dating is especially challenging.
âIâve been terribly unfortunate in that department,â he writes. âMost men and women Iâve liked, have backed off. âŠ The men worry that eventually Iâd want to get married and go for a woman, and the women are scared that Iâll just turn gay.â
His family has also had a hard time accepting him for who he is.
âMy parents are still in denial about my sexuality,â he explains. âYes, even after all these years. Theyâre quite hopeful that one day, I will go back to being straightâeven if that happens when Iâm 40, or 50. Talk about optimism! “
He continues, âEven members of the LGBTQ+ community arenât particularly affable, once they realize youâre not just gay. There are a lot of crusaders for homosexuality but how many bisexuals do you know whoâre fighting for their rights? “
Being bisexual, the man notes, really isnât that strange or difficult to understand. So why do people continue to act like it is?
âJust like a heterosexual person is attracted to the opposite gender, a bisexual person is attracted to both genders. Thatâs all there is to it.â
He continues, âAnd for all those who believe that bisexuals are having all the fun, I wish youâd understand just how difficult it is to even go out on a date. Most people turn you down before theyâve even met you because they canât de al with your orientation. Thatâs certainly not fun! “